I specialize in infidelity and addictions—most notably sex, porn, and love addiction and general couples work. I work with the individual who is acting out, or the partner, or both individuals in couples counseling as appropriate.

In addition to clinical training, I have advanced training in pastoral counseling, financial education, employee assistance and crisis management.  I have completed Level 3 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, am currently on the certification track of becoming a Gottman Certified Therapist and use Gottman Method Couples Therapy in my work. I also am approved to facilitate the Prepare/Enrich assessment to help empower premarital and married couples. My experience allows me to also serve pastors, clergy, church leaders of various faith traditions, police officers, firefighters, dispatchers and hospital personnel. I also run a ongoing therapeutic group for men experiencing intimacy disorders: masturbation/porn, love/sex. co-occurring addictions, infidelity, etc

I have been trained directly by Patrick Carnes and am a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) with the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals.  I am also an Employee Assistance Specialist - Clinical (EAS-C) through the Employee Assistance Professional Association and trained in Employee Assistance Program Critical Incident Response 3 (Resiliency) Approach by Robert Douglas.  I am a consultant for R3 Continum and am trained in Advanced Individual Crisis Intervention and Peer Support.  I work directly with first responders as a volunteer mental health peer for the Northern Illinois Critical Incident Stress Management Team.  I use clinical supervision which expands clinical expertise, judgment and quality of care.

Over time, I have found individuals who are most able to benefit from our work together:

  • Offer and receive direct and honest feedback

  • Try new behaviors which may be uncomfortable

  • Understand no person (including a counselor) can "fix" another person

  • Appreciate a sense of humor

  • Are able to demonstrate honesty, authenticity and vulnerability

As with any relationship, therapy works best when there is trust, mutual respect, and a sense of connection. If you think we may be a good fit to work with one another, call me at 224-639-2607 or email me at Patrick@PatrickAmesCounseling.com to set up a 15-minute complimentary phone consultation. This phone call is used to assess the goodness of fit of a therapeutic match, not for treatment or diagnosis. If we find that we are not a good fit at the end of this phone call, I will give you referrals of therapists that might be a better match for you.

Common Struggles

  • affairs/betrayal

  • co-occurring addictions

  • family conflict

  • grief/loss/bereavement

  • infidelity

  • intimacy disorders

  • love addiction

  • pornography addiction

  • physical, sexual, emotional abuse

  • premarital counseling

  • secrets that are hurting your life and relationships

  • self-esteem issues

  • separation/divorce

  • sex addiction

Gottman Approved Member